


12 Things You Should Not Do To A Pregnant Person

by Katybug1992



Series: All In [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Mpreg Harry, OT5 Friendship, Pregnant Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3214637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katybug1992/pseuds/Katybug1992
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Throughout the course of Harry's pregnancy, the guys learn a few things that probably shouldn't be done to Harry while he's pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	12 Things You Should Not Do To A Pregnant Person

1\. DO NOT question their eating habits. It will not end well for you.

Zayn entered the sitting room of the house and immediately spotted Harry curled up on the sofa, holding a bowl of the pasta he had made for lunch, which was about an hour ago. Harry had gone all out for it, making his special pasta, salad with homemade vinaigrette dressing, and homemade garlic bread. Needless to say, the boys all left the table feeling very full, so seeing Harry with another full plate of food was a little shocking.

"You're eating AGAIN, Haz?" Zayn chuckled out, laughing to himself in disbelief, "You're worse than Niall nowadays."

This turned out to be a very bad thing to say. Harry's eyes snapped to Zayn and flashed angrily, even if he only managed to look as angry as a disgruntled kitten.

"I don't know if you SOMEHOW managed to miss the memo, Zayn Malik, but I am pregnant, with TWINS, and my appetite is all kinds of messed up. And I swear to God--" Harry was cut off by the appearance of Louis, who rushed into the room as soon as he heard Zayn's comment.

"It's okay, babe," Louis rushed to placate, "Zayn's just stupid. You eat as much as you want to."

Harry seemed content with it and Louis turned to leave, heading for the kitchen to refill Harry's juice, grabbing Zayn's arm and pulling him with, "Don't mention the eating, I should have warned you. Niall made a comment yesterday while you were out and H almost tore the leprechaun's head off."

Zayn chuckled and shook his head, the reason why Niall had treaded so carefully around Harry that morning becoming clear. 

2\. DO NOT flaunt the fact that you can drink alcohol and they can't. They may be bitter about it and it's best for everyone if you just enjoy your beer in silence as they drink whatever beverage they found on the pregnancy blog that, apparently, will help to make the pregnant person feel less bloaty and more relaxed.

Niall entered the kitchen, carrying the groceries from the latest run that Harry had sent him on. Harry had decided that he wanted to make an exotic meal that night and had sent all of his boys to this store or that store for some obscure ingredient or that.

Setting the bags down he dug through them to find the six pack he had bought of the newest summer brew, exclaiming in excitement when he found it.

"What's that?" Harry asked, looking up from the juicer, where he was making the latest juice his Lamaze instructor had suggested. It was supposed to keep him stress-free and help the babies to settle so that they did not move so much when he was trying to sleep.

"The new summer beer!" Niall bounced on the balls of feet excitedly as he pulled a bottle out and examined it, "I think you would like this one. It's too bad you can't have any."

 

Harry simply glared and began to stuff and juice what he needed to in a more violent manner as Niall kept nattering on about the beer.

When Liam entered the room with his own groceries bags, he immediately noticed Harry's demeanor and elbowed Niall, causing the blonde to finally shut up.

Niall giggled nervously when he noticed Harry's glare before sheepishly apologizing.

"Sorry, Hazza." Niall grinned, because that usually worked.

Harry just replied by pointedly picking up a carrot, narrowing his eyes even more at the blonde, and shoved the carrot into the juicer as Louis walked into the kitchen.

"Guys," he groaned, followed by Zayn, both returning from their assigned errands, "we talked about this. Do not cause my boy any stress."

Turning to Harry, he placed a hand on his arm, trying to hide his grimace as he looked at the juice that was kind of a pukey-brown color, "Whose fault is it this time, babe?"

"The blonde one." Harry muttered darkly, pouting at Louis.

Three pairs of eyes looked at Niall and the six pack he was holding, understanding dawning on them.

"Sorry?" Niall smiled sheepishly.

The others just shook their heads, Liam taking Niall out of Harry's sight so that Harry didn't have to look at him.

When they were called for dinner around four hours later, Harry seemed to be in a better mood, having gotten his revenge on Niall by putting way more vegetables than meat on Niall's plate and telling him that he would eat all of them if he wanted to be allowed to be an uncle to the babies. 

3\. DO NOT comment on the cleanliness of the house. They are pregnant and may have a difficult time keeping house. If the messiness bothers you, clean it yourself.

Liam didn't realize just how much cleaning Harry did, not just throughout the day, but throughout the week until he started to notice the house getting slowly messier. Louis' shoes left in the entrance way whenever he came home, causing everyone who walked through to trip. Zayn's balled up doodles laying forgotten where they had landed after being thrown over his shoulder. Niall left trash and crumbs wherever he had been eating. Liam had left a few things here and there around the house. Since Harry's doctor put him on bed-rest, the dishes had begun to pile up, the laundry had not been done, and the daily cleaning that Harry had done every day since he and Louis had moved in, had not been getting done, making it clear how much Harry did every day.

Unfortunately, Liam made the mistake of bringing this up. He had been sitting with Harry, keeping him company as the younger boy was so incredibly bored, when they heard Niall trip over Louis' shoes, shortly followed by the other three band members yelling at each other about whose crap was where.

"It has gotten pretty messy…" Liam accidently let slip, freezing as Harry slowly turned his gaze toward Liam, eyes narrowed.

"I am not the only person who can clean." Harry snapped back, "You have hands. There are a totally of eight other hands in this house that do not belong to someone who has been forbidden from getting out of bed that are more than capable of cleaning this house. If it bothers you, then I suggest YOU clean it."

"Of course." Liam quickly agreed, "I'll just go tell the guys."

"If anything gets broken, I do not want to hear about it." Harry yawned, "Just fix it and never tell me what it was, how it broke, or who broke it."

Liam smiled fondly as Harry seemed to suddenly pass out before leaving the room and going down stairs, finding a pile of wrestling limbs at the bottom of the stair case, Louis smugly sitting on top of a struggling Niall and a Zayn who was threatening Louis and Niall with all kinds of bodily harm if they didn't start picking up after themselves.

"Guys!" Liam whisper-shouted, "Come on. We're cleaning the house for Haz."

The following day, the house was back in its usual state of cleanliness and they had only broken the dishwasher, washing machine, and dryer. They took shifts making sure that Harry did not get curious about what the noises were so that he didn’t get any ideas about going downstairs to investigate. He was under enough stress with the pregnancy, he didn't need to know that the boys had broken three of his major appliances. And he definitely didn't need to know how.

4\. DO NOT leave all of the nursery decorating decisions up to the pregnant person. They want you to be part of the pregnancy, so you should at least have an opinion on which variation of the same color you like the best.

Louis walked into the spare room they were turning into the nursery to see Harry sitting on the floor with the color swatch book in his lap.

"Hey, you." Louis smiled fondly, sitting down next to him on the floor.

"Hey." Harry grinned, "So, Zayn went down to Ikea to pick up the furniture I picked from the catalogue; we're going with the Beech wood. What color should we paint the walls?"

"I don't care." Louis shrugged, "Why don't you pick? You're better at this sort of thing than me."

"You don't care?" Harry's eyes flashed as he slowly got to his feet, "I am trying to let you have a piece of this, but I see now that you 'don't care' about this baby as much I thought you did."

"What?" Louis' face scrunched up in confusion as he watched his love work himself up to the point where he was crying so much he couldn't speak.

"What did you do?!" Liam asked, alarmed as he entered the nursery, dropping what he was carrying and rushing over to Harry. 

"He doesn't care about our baby." Harry wailed, "He won't even help with the nursery."

"I'm sure that's not true." Liam tried to calm Harry down, rubbing his back in a soothing manner, "He love you, and he loves that baby, and I'm sure he will be more than happy to help you pick out whatever you need for this room."

Liam threw Louis a glare as the older boy gaped at his husband. Taking a deep breath he picked the book up out of Harry's lap and scanned the page that Harry had been looking at, full of different but similar shades of light purple.

"I like this one." Louis pointed to a random shade on the page.

"That's the one I was thinking, too." Harry sniffed, wiping the tears from his cheeks and drying his eyes.

"So, this is the color of our nursery?" Louis smiled, pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead.

"The walls, yeah," Harry nodded, before flipping the pages to the other marked page, filled with shades of light green, "We're painting the crown molding one of these colors."

Louis sighed, but settled himself down to help Harry while Liam tried not to laugh at how easily Louis famous strength of will crumbled for Harry. 

5\. DO NOT complain about how many times you discuss baby names. It doesn't matter if you keep settling on one, picking a name is important and helping to pick out a name helps you to feel like you're part of the pregnancy.

Harry jolted awake and immediately shook Louis awake. His husband groaned, opening his eyes just enough to glare at the clock that read 2:13.

"Are you okay, babe?" Louis' voice was sleep worn and he stretched before turning fully to look at his husband, "Are you having one of your weird cravings? Do I need to go to the store to get more pickles and peanut butter? You know I don't like to, that check out lady always gives me that glaring, disapproving look, like she wants to murder me, bring me back to life, and then murder me again. But, for you, my love, I will go. And maybe there will be a different check out lady who doesn't hate me as much as the other lady."

"Lou, I'm fine." Harry chuckled, "I was just thinking about the babies names."

 

"Again?!" Louis' face scrunched up in confusion, "Haz, I thought we decided on Josephine and David."

"The name matters, Lou." Harry's expression hardened, "They are the most important decisions that we will make."

Louis, not wanting to fight with Harry this early, he definitely didn't want to get banished to the couch for the rest of the night (Harry had done that the other night when Louis had complained about being awoken for the thirteenth time to discuss baby names), held his hands up in surrender, "What were you thinking, love?"

"Well, I was thinking about what Liam said." Harry sat up.

"We are not naming our son after him." Louis immediately voiced. He would give Liam anything, he really would, but he would not be naming his first born son after him (although, Liam should probably receive at least that for all that he had done and put up with for Louis).

"Maybe not in first name, but I feel like we should honor the boys with the twins middle names." Harry replied, twiddling his thumbs, "Like, David's middle name could be James, because James is both Liam and Niall's middle name. And Josephine's middle name could be Harper, because that the name that Zayn suggested for her."

"David James and Josephine Harper…" Louis muttered before giving Harry a soft smile, "I like it."

"You do?" Harry looked small and insecure, as he turned to Louis with large eyes.

"I love it." Louis muttered, kissing Harry sweetly, "Now, love, you need your sleep."

"Goodnight, spouse." Harry giggled, "You are definitely getting morning sex."

Louis chuckled, wrapping his arms around Harry and took in his sent as they drifted off to sleep.

6\. DO NOT complain about all the shopping that comes with preparing for the child’s arrival. You need to be prepared in case your baby needs multiple outfit changes a day or your friends insists that your child needs more stuffed animals and you need an extra shelf for all the pastel colored teddy bears.

 

Niall really needed to learn to keep his mouth shut. He really did. But as he was pulled into yet another baby store, he groaned, “Really, Haz? You’ve already filled their closet and drawers and they’re even here yet. Do you really need to buy MORE baby clothes?”

Niall immediately recognized his mistake as soon as the words left his mouth and Harry spun around, expression stormy. He rushed to reply, but Harry got there before he did.

“Did you really just ask if my children need clothes? Really, Niall?” Harry asked, voice low and eyebrow raised, hands moving to his hips.

“I did NOT say THAT.” Niall attempted to defend himself and his character to the many strangers who were within hearing distance.

“Do you know how often babies need their clothes changed? They will go through, at least, five outfits a day. At least, if they’re as much like Louis as I’m sure they will be.” Harry continued on like Niall never said anything.

“You’re right,” Niall nodded, “I’m sorry.”

“You can earn your forgiveness by being on laundry duty for the rest of the month and by not talking for the rest of this shopping trip.”

With that, Harry entered the store, Niall entering slowly behind him and resigning himself to twice as long in this store than in any other store they had gone in that day.

Luckily, this was the last stop of the day and Niall ended buying the babies each three new football jerseys and four teddy bears….and pointedly ignoring Harry’s smirk.

7\. DO NOT insist that your partner hurry up. They are uncomfortable and it is in your best interest to let them move at the pace they choose.

 

Louis sighed impatiently, checking his watch and tapping his foot. Harry had a doctor’s appointment in forty-five minutes and the clinic was twenty minutes away, but—at the rate Harry was moving—they would definitely be late.

“Harry!!” Louis yelled up the stairs, “hurry up!! We’re going to be late!!”

Louis immediately regretted those words as his six month pregnant husband appeared at the top of the stairs, half dressed and angrily pointing his tooth brush at Louis.

“What did you just say?” Harry asked dangerously, eyes narrowing.

“I…said…um…” Louis floundered for an excuse but couldn’t find one in time.

“You just told me to hurry up.” Harry answered his own question, “I wish I could hurry up, Louis Tomlinson, I would LOVE to be able to hurry up. The issue with that is that I am six months pregnant with YOUR twins. I am tired, fat, and my feet hurt; I sleep later than usual and it takes a little longer to get ready than it used to. I will go at my own pace and you will wait in the car and not make one noise of complaint.”

Louis sighed, walking out to the car and calling the clinic to inform them that they were running late. 

8\. DO NOT criticize the things that your partner gets emotional over. Their hormones are all over the place. If they want to cry when Charlie Brown gets rocks on Halloween let them. After all, they don’t criticize you when you cry because your sport’s team lost.

Harry sat on the couch, surrounded by tissues, “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” playing on the television, letting a heavy sob as Charlie Brown received rocks from yet another house.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked, he and Zayn running into the room upon hearing the cry, “Are you hurt?”

“It’s just the movie.” Harry sniffled.

“Are you seriously crying over Peanuts?” Louis breathed out a laugh, “Harry, come on.”

Harry glared fiercely at Louis, his eyes still watery as Zayn attempted to convey that Louis should apologize right that moment, “Louis, a little boy is given rocks instead of candy on Halloween. What if that happens to our baby? Will you laugh at them for being upset about it? Or what about if they stay up waiting all night for the Great Pumpkin and the other kids make fun of them? Are you going to think that it’s ridiculous for them to be upset? Do I laugh at you when you cry after Donny loses a match? Do I? No, I don’t.”

With that Harry pushed himself up and stalked to the kitchen to start on what would surely be a one hundred percent organic meal that Louis would hate but wouldn’t be able to complain about without further pissing Harry off and ending up sleeping on the couch until Harry decided he could return to the bedroom.

“You cry over footy?” Zayn asked after a minute, tone radiating judgment.

“Shut up.” Louis said, walking into the kitchen to begin to beg for forgiveness, leaving Zayn to snicker to himself.

9\. DO NOT give your partner a craving substitute. If the first store you go to does not have what your partner is craving, keep going to different stores until you find what you were sent to get.

Louis sighed as he trudged into the small corner store he had become very familiar with since Harry’s cravings hit. So, when Harry woke him up at three in the morning wanting banana cream pie, Louis threw on some clothes and made the run to the closest little grocery store where the check-out lady seemed to hate him with a burning passion (probably because he and Zayn had decided to race the grocery carts and knocked almost everything off the in three on the first craving run). 

Regardless of his personal feelings toward her, he still greeted her politely (because his mother and Harry had trained him that politeness was important) before heading to the bakery section and sighing heavily when the spot where the banana cream pies usually are was empty. He stood there for a while before his face lit up with a bright idea.

In retrospect, Louis as he watched Harry’s blank expression as he looked at the bunch of bananas and can of whipped cream, it probably wasn’t as bright of an idea as he thought. Personally, he blamed it on the fact that it was three in the morning.

“Never mind,” Harry sighed, rolling over and pulling the covers back up.

Louis sighed and went to get back undressed, but before he could get back into the bed, Harry said, “Don’t you think the couch would be more comfortable?”

Louis looked mournfully at the bed, but made his way down to the living room and settling in for the night. He would definitely be making Niall do the craving runs from then on.

10\. DO NOT think that just because you read the baby book your mother gave you automatically makes you ready to be a parent. You have a lot more to learn that you cannot get out of a book.

Louis smiled to himself, after five months, he finally finished reading the book his mom had given him. 

“What are you so smiley about?” Harry asked, hand softly rubbing his almost nine month belly.

“I finished mom’s book,” Louis grinned, “I am officially ready to be a dad!”

Harry just stared at him in shock as Liam snorted out a laugh and Zayn left the room quickly so as to not outright laugh in his best friend’s face. 

Harry merely raised an eyebrow in disbelief, before contorting his face in pain, gasping and clenching his stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked in panic, “Are the babies coming? Oh, my God!! They are! We are sooo not ready for this. Okay, okay, okay, okay, we need… WE NEED ZAYN!! AND LIAM! Okay….. why are you guys laughing?”

Louis’ panic faded immediately as Harry straighten up with a smirk and Liam couldn’t keep his laughter in, Zayn’s laugh coming into the kitchen from the living room.

“Yeah, Lou,” Liam patted his shoulder, “you’re totally ready.”

“You guys are mean.” Louis stated as Harry smiled sweetly.

Kissing his cheek, Harry said, “Love, you can’t learn everything from reading books, especially is it’s one book. We’re never going to know everything, we can’t be prepared for everything. Some things will just have to happen. And when they do, we will figure out how to handle it together.”

Louis smiled and pressed a sweet kiss to Harry’s lips, murmering, “I love you”.

11\. DO NOT tell your partner to calm down. Never do this.

Harry stood in front of the mirror, sobs racking his body as he looked at his overly bloated figure. He hugged his belly, loving to twins but absolutely hating the way they made him feel about his body. 

That’s how Louis found him.

Rushing over, Louis bent down, hearing words like “fat”, “ugly”, “you don’t want me anymore”, etc., and tried to get a word in, but Harry just kept going.

“Okay, love, you need to calm down.” Louis interrupted, immediately regretting the word choice as Harry stiffened, glaring at Louis.

“I know, I know,” Louis sighed as Harry was apparently too angry to even form a sentence, “I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“ZAYN!” Harry called as Louis left the room.

“You’re an idiot.” Zayn informed Louis as he passed him on the stairs.

“I know.” Louis replied, going to the downstairs closet and starting the familiar process of setting up the couch for bed.

12\. DO NOT ask for special treatment. Your partner is growing a human life, they deserve special treatment.

Louis walked downstairs, spotting Liam giving Harry a back rub.

“You know, Payno,” Louis said, sitting down next to Harry on the floor, “I spent all morning putting together baby furniture, where’s /my/ backrub?”

“I offered to help you, but you declined.” Liam replied, not looking away from Harry, “And Harry’s back is really hurting him today.”

“And, frankly, with the way you were acting last night, I don’t think you deserve to even be sitting next to me.” Harry replied, shooting a little glare at Louis.

“Babe,” Louis replied, “You gave me one hell of a blow job and then rode me into next week. That deserved some recognition.”

“You woke us up to brag about it!” Liam fired back, “As if we couldn’t hear everything!”

Louis just stuck his tongue out and cuddled Harry into his side, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I love you,” Harry murmured sleepily before drifting off and leaving Louis and Liam with the conundrum of whether they should move him up to the bedroom or not.

And lastly, here’s one thing you should say: 

Louis looked down at the twins awe. Nine months and countless hours of labor later here they were. He felt his eyes tears up and he brushed the hair out of Harry’s face, pressing a kiss to his temple, Louis muttered, voice cracking with emotion, “You’re amazing and I’ve never been as proud of you as I am now.”


End file.
